Sci-fi without beautiful women (Oblivion, spoilers alert)

· by Peter · Read in about 3 min · (633 words) ·

In the age where music videos look like porn, good looking ladies are a must have for almost any movie genre. And especially for science fiction where nerds simply have to have something to make their blood pressure go up. Other than discussing if the laser used was feasible in real world. So even in trailer promoting newest Star Trek movie we’ve got nice looking lady in lingerie, see below.
Star Trek boobs

But Oblivion wants to be better than that. So they’ve hired Olga Kurylenko and Andrea Riseborough as the main female characters. Don’t take me wrong, they have nice bodies, but they’re far from being beautiful. And I admit that I especially dislike miss Kurylenko. Yeah she was Bond’s girl, but as Skyfall shows, every girl can be Bond’s girl now. And Ukraine has the most beautiful women on the planet (just after Poland), so if they wanted Ukrainian they had better options to choose from. Don’t tell me that they’ve chosen her because of her acting skills.

Let’s get back to the movie. It’s average. The story maybe isn’t such bad, but realization could’ve been way better. So we have alien invasion. They’re first destroying our moon which really screws up the earth. Then they’re attacking and the only way humanity could defend itself is to use nuclear weapons. As result planet is ruined, but at least we’ve won. So now we have our couple (Cruise and Riseborough) who’s supervising drones which are protecting rigs which are taking water from the ocean. The water is needed, so survivors could go to Titan (one of the Saturn’s moons) and start new life there. Drones are needed because there are still remaining aliens on earth who are threat to rigs operation. Everything would be nice and dandy, but Jack has dreams about this woman all the time. So once she lands on earth, everything changes. It turns out that remaining aliens are not aliens, but humans. And that there were no aliens at all. It was just artificial intelligence sent to steal our resources. It destroyed our moon, but invasion was not done by aliens, but by clones of Jack. Yeah, Jack and Victoria are also clones and are manipulated by alien AI to protect it from humans. But hey, humans have Morgan Freeman, so there is a plan. They want to set the nukes in one of the drones and sent it to the core of alien spaceship. Jack is needed to program the drone as he’s the only one who has access. But of course everything fails and they’re loosing drone. So they need to get there themselves, Jack and Julia that is. It’s possible because AI wants Julia there to analyze her, and probably make more clones as she’s tired of having only two kinds. But here’s another twist. It’s not Julia who gets there with Jack, but Beech. And you totally don’t expect that, because he mentions that he really wants that only once. Oh, and have I mentioned that this alien AI is actually H.A.L. from 2001: A Space Odyssey. Yeah.

OK, so the story isn’t greatest. But anybody who likes science fiction got used to much more bullshit and it’s usually fine if you’re getting decent fun. Not this time however. Movie is boring. There are some good scenes, but they’re drowned in the waterfall of mediocrity. You can’t even focus on pretty girls, because there are none. Cruise is nice, but he almost always is. Picture isn’t bad, but it lacks something. It looks like director was lost, as he wanted to make a movie like Moon, but with a bit more action. He failed, in both ways.

Don’t you have a feeling that 2013 would be another year when Morgan Freeman is playing in every second movie?